New Sacred Beginnings

Avoid Shrink to Fit Relationships by Staying True To Yourself

He Said...

Many times we get ourselves into relationships that are not what we expected or going the way we want them to go. Expectations, manipulation and control can reek havoc and prevent us from being our true selves.

I have learned that communication, being transparent, open and allowing helps build trust and respect. I can share my fears, thoughts, desires and know that I am safe in doing so. When both people allow each other to speak their truth then there is freedom and love flowing. You can be yourself and by doing so you enhance the relationship.

If you are not in a place where you feel safe and free to speak your truth and be you, then the relationship will not be healthy and will break down. Your happiness and joy is more important then staying stuck in toxic relationships. There are many reasons that people do, but there are choices that can be made to improve your life no matter where your at. Blessings to all....

Thoughts by Phil Long

Avoid Shrink to Fit Relationships by Staying True To Yourself

She Said...

In my personal experience I had a hard time staying true to myself in my relationships and friendships. But for me the longest and hardest was when I was growing up living with my mom and when I was married for 33 years.

When I was rejected, blamed, and mental games were taking place, I withdrew and hid my true self wanting to feel safe. They shut me down so fast, wanting me to conform to how they believed I should be or what I should do. I walked away with my song in me and kept it deep within. Once in awhile I would say something of my truth and it did not come out strong with confidence or courage. More like a soft voice of uncertainty.

I had strong feelings to open up and be my true self. It took many years through my personal transformation and awakening to allow my beautiful soul to unfold and open up to be myself; learning and growing along the way with each person that I came into contact with.

To me, being true to myself means to speak my truth without losing love, to be very vulnerable and let go of the outcome and know I am still loved.

So now by being my authentic self around others, it allows them to do the same. I feel one with my true self. I feel and see her everyday with the things I say and do. I appreciate her and love her and encourage her to keep going, never to lose herself again for someone else.

I am in a beautiful and loving relationship where I am fully vulnerable and just being my true self. When you have open conversations on subjects that might rock the boat, the test is to walk through the fear.

It has taken me little by little to open up and be myself with my partner. I feel so safe and loved, and secure.

It really doesn't matter whether I am loved or not because I love myself in so many ways. There is so much freedom and joy living from your true self.

Once you begin to open up and you become aware of your true self, it takes love, patience, strength, courage, confidence and gentleness with yourself. Our personal alignment is very important. That is the only thing that matters. Everything else will align with you when you live being your authentic self.
So ask yourself, "What fear do I have being my true self in my relationship?" What is the fear about? Let it come up and acknowledge it when fear of not feeling loved or accepted or whatever comes to you. Feel it, don't sweep the feeling away.

Here are some tips and tools for you to help you start your journey of becoming your true self.
*Being in a loving relationship with you.
Learn to love you for who you are in all facets of yourself.
*Acknowledge when you are your true self. This will help you become aware
* Write down what you love about you.

To know yourself intimately with awareness and love, you will live from your true self.
Susan J. D'Amico

With Love,

Susan J. D'Amico
Relationship Love Coach